Gramma, Grampa & Zuzu

I promise to create a loving and enriching environment for you.

Dear Loves,

Ms. Chopra tells the story  of Mencius  and how his family moved to different locations in order to find the values they wanted to impart on their child. They settled on a home near a school. Once there, her son learned about books, science, philosophy and kindness to others. He began to imitate these behaviors and became one of the greatest thinkers and philosophers of his time. Mencius grew up to believe and assert that the innate goodness of a person was due to society’s influence.

There is much we can and will discuss from this story over our lifetimes. I have certainly worried about what type of environment you girls will grow up in. What the people, places and customs around you will teach you about life, love and values; as well as  influencing the adults you will grow to be. What Mencius’s mother did for him is an age old tale but one that remains relevent today. Now though, the influence of others is so insidious in our lives. Simply moving to live in a different physical enviroment  doesn’t guarantee that we will find values that match ours and only experience others behaviors that we find worthy. It is rare that any of us spend a day without any contact with the outside world. We are continuously influenced both consciously and subconsciously by advertising on our cereal boxes, the internet, the mail, the signs our neighbors put up, the television, the lyrics of a song, the words we hear spoken on a radio show or written in a magazine lying in a waiting room….etc.

Fortunately now we realize now that we do not necessarily have to become victim to all of those influences regardless of where we live. As your parents we get the opportunity to try to help you learn to interpret society around you in a way that makes sense to you. It is impossible and improbable of a task to think we should protect you from everyone elses values, beliefs and fervored opinions that don’t coincide with our own. We wouldn’t even want to. What we do promise is to help you learn to think for yourselves. To help you have the confidence and insight necessary to sort through conflicting and promising images and values you are exposed to on a minute by minute basis. We love you so and wish for you to learn to think for yourselves. You are both in the beginnings of that process now though where in order to learn to think for yourselves, you watch and imitate us. Lovey and I both have realized just how astute you both are and how spongelike you both are in soaking up everything around you. When I see you dear Zuzu, grab my shoes, my pump-pack and sunglasses and explain you have to take a taxi to the market to buy Kefir and need monies to pay for parking- I see the cogwheels in your brain turning as you work out what you need to do to nourish your little body and act grown-up. And you sweet Quail- I see my own joy reflected back at me as your smile crinkles up in your delight of our noticing you want to be picked up, or fed or have your diaper changed or just a snuggle.

We know that as your parents it is our duty to think about things before we make decisions- this is how you will learn to be thoughtful.

It is our duty to be loving in our actions- this is how you will learn to be loving in your own.

It is our duty to value you as individual human beings- so that you will see your own value and learn to value others.

While we can’t protect you from the world’s continuous influence we will teach you to protect yourselves- through development of your mind, your body, your will and your sense of esteem. We will do this by loving and being with you. By talking to and listening to you and being your soft place to fall. 

What we know as fact today was once science fiction. Everyone has an opinion as to what constitutes an enriching and loving environment- from where you should sleep, to how you eat and what you eat, to where you learn and who you talk to and when. As to whether or not those ideas that are currently touted as facts remain so or flow into the river of good intentions is yet to be seen. We do our educated best for you today and will continue to throughout your long lives. You bring the love and richness to all of our collective and individual lives and for that we are eternally grateful.

Love, Momma