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Mommaday: Buddy Walk

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Buddy Walk snuck up on this year and we were happy to be able to go at the last minute after being fairly certain we weren’t going to be able to attend either of our local ones. Fortunately our Family Connections friend Kim, who also happened to be the top fundraiser this year was extremely persistent and convinced us to sneak it into our schedule. She even managed to get the Quail on the T-shirt as a participant as well. Here are a few shots from the beautiful day. It makes my heart swell to see all of the folks gather and celebrate. I still am a bit intimidated by the event though and haven’t managed to organize the Quail’s own team yet. I’m not quite so sure what makes me feel shy about asking people to join us. When I see everyone else’s entourage I inevitably wish I had been braver. One of these years. In the meantime…

Quailday: Schoolhouse Rocks…especially inclusive ones…

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As I mentioned on Tuesday, the Quail is now fully included in the Toddler class at her little school. The transition started with the beginning of the public school year in August with her spending some time with the teachers throughout the day but typically returning for meal and naptimes. Last month we had Miss Mattie start taking the Quail from the baby room to the Toddler class when she got there to help assist the Quail in feeling comfortable with her new teachers and reaquaint herself with some of the classmates that had moved up earlier this summer. This is a MUCH bigger class then what she is used to (from 1 teacher to 5 students to 2 teachers with 10 students).

When Zuzu moved into the Toddler class she was 10 months old. It was just how it fell in the academic year and how the make-up of kids worked out. So I incorrectly assumed that the Quail moving in there at 19 months old would be much older than the others. Turns out she is the youngest. She is the only one not walking yet and we expect it will be a while before she is able to walk. But as Miss Tandria the school manager told me when Zuzu made this same transition- it’s amazing how quickly they assimilate to the new routine and activities. The Quail has definitely picked up her pace on crawling. She still mostly does an army crawl, but it’s much faster and she initiates it frequently. No longer when you leave her in one spot in a given room, can you expect to find her sitting in the same spot when you return. Usually she’ll follow you!

Their day starts out with group and art time. The Quail is a natural at this. She is a huge book lover and would sit and read happily all day in her dreamland. During art time she only eats about as much glue as her fellow students and was more than happy to fingerpaint and tear up the paper strips for her collage.

Lunchtime is one of the biggest changes. The little kidlets all sit in individual chairs around a toddler sized table and receive their first foray into school lunch. You can guess how this was received by the Quail….pure delite! A number of times in this past week the teacher has remarked that when they finish helping the Quail with her meal and step away to clean up, when they turn back the Quail has stood herself up at the table to get a better view of what she wishes was an all-you-can-eat buffet! I worried she might try to take the other kiddo’s food or offer up some of her pterodactyl impressions in the process of having to wait for her meal to be brought to her. But surprisingly (even though I shouldn’t be so surprised since kids frequently have separate standards of etiquette for home and school), she is just happy to be part of the group and doesn’t fuss at all.

Next up, naptime- again a big worry for me (sensing a theme here yet?), in the baby room the babies all had baby cribs. In the Toddler class, um yeah, the toddlers all sleep on nap mats. Zuzu worried me back during her transition time with this as well. She was notorious in the baby room for staying awake during naptime and going around rattling the babies cribs throughout the span of time and then dropping off to sleep just when it was time to get up. I figured she wouldn’t cut it on a nap with absolutely no caging in to enforce the plan. But she surprised me too, that very first day she laid herself down to sleep, soaked up the nice teacher backrub and dropped off just like it was old hat. I swear I’d pay a mint to have these teachers come to bedtime at our house nightly! So the first all day run to include naptime I was hovering by the phone at 2:02pm- scolding myself for wanting to check in, and  yet reminding myself they said it fine to check! Finally by 3pm I caved in to check, and yes, the Quail- no problem. Three seperate times she looked up and chatted at the teacher and three times she was informed that what she was saying was well and good but it was naptime. The third time was the charm. She conked out and slept the full two hours. And so far has stuck with the schedule.

In the afternoon there is playtime outside. Depending on how many kiddos are out on the playground there is a need to be careful here. The Two’s class should really be called Three’s and those kiddos are apparantly farm-fed. They are LOTS bigger. During those instances when the group can be a bit overwhelming the Toddler teachers have improvised by bringing out a small swimming pool, added some toys and let her play in there. Each afternoon that I’ve picked her up on the playground there has been a minimum of two and once six of her groupees crowding around to play with her. For the kids it wasn’t isolating her, it was just an invitation for them to come sit by her.

And so goes the first full week. I’m completely thrilled with how smooth it has gone and will probably end up back her reading this and reminding myself of how well her being included can go. Thanks so much to all the lovely and loving teachers at my girl’s school. I appreciated you when you lovingly cared for Zuzu, but you’ve really outshined yourself with the two of them. I feel so lucky to know you all!

Zuzuday- Stister love

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So one of the absolute best parts of the Quail moving into the Toddler room this fall- is the added togetherness it affords the Stisters. I remember reading the statistics about siblings of kids with disabilities getting 80% of the attention in the home and how that can cause resentment towards the individual with the disability. It worries me, I want them to love each other and take comfort in each other. I want them to be able to have their own independent lives and yet still connect with each other.

So back to the togetherness. We have a young therapeutic recreation graduate student, Miss Mattie that we have come to school to play with the Quail for 45 minutes a day 4 days a week. She reviews and works on the different activities that we learn in the various therapies on the days we don’t have physical and occupational therapy sessions. Miss Mattie will then report back to us about how the session went and specifically what they worked on. We’ve tried to encourage them to go with the flow of what the natural activity in the room is so that the Quail isn’t being pulled away from her pals but having support and learning how to interact with and keep up better with them.  I’ll break here to tell you I’m a worrywart. Well, maybe noone needed me to point that out. But I’ve worried about the Quail’s ability to adapt to a typical school endlessly. I wholeheartedly believe in the power and good of inclusion. But I worry about the day-to-day reality of what it will look like for the Quail and the need to keep my little feathered friend safe, while supporting this inclusion ideal. Part of that is fear based on a stereotype of her disability and potential capability and part of that is just being a working mom to a young child and spending the majority of your day entrusting her care to others.

So, we have Miss Mattie, to give the Quail that extra oomph to fit in and keep up and look out for her. Well, the happiest part of my days in the last few weeks has been checking my email on break at work and seeing the email from Miss Mattie telling me about the Quail’s day and what all they worked on. The absolute best part of the email; though, are the asides that if she was just using the original checklist of activities we gave her we would never hear about. The little moments of triumph and love and community in her day that warm my heart.

So why is this post on Zuzu’s day you ask? Well because we chose to put the girls in the same school, they sometimes share little recess times. Now the big kids playground is next to; but separate from the babies and toddlers playground. There is a fence in between.  This was an excerpt from Miss Mattie’s note on Zuzu’s birthday:

“Then Zuzu’s class came outside and Zuzu ran over to say hi. The Quail was so excited to see her she waved and blew kisses and they held hands through the fence.”

Swoon… I asked the Quail’s teacher to try to get a picture of it if she can since when I remarked on how sweet it was she indicated that it has happened more than once. She then went on to tell me how Zuzu will frequently run over to the fence to check on the Quail and if she’s in the middle of something else and the Quail is crying Zuzu will start hollering to her to get her attention back to her sister. And keep at it until someone comes. I tell you, that girl’s persistence pays off sometimes. The other gem, she’s created an entourage for the Quail. Apparently a number of Zuzu’s friends have taken it upon themselves to line up at the fence and watch out for the Quail as well. I’ve had more than one mother take the time to introduce themselves at pick-up time in order to remark that their child will ask for a Quail of their own and how cute she is.

That Zuzu, she’s a natural advocate. Bless her sweet head.

Mommaday: Lessons I’m working on learning

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So the other day I was catching up on reading Dave Hingsburger. I know, I know- I’ve said before just how much I like the guy and how much I appreciate his advocacy; just how much I have learned and continue to learn from him. I’m repeatedly amazed at how simple and profound his thoughts make the world appear when I find myself agonizingly inarticulate over similar issues.

Here’s the thing- The examples he gave in this post- I was fortunate. I won’t say I never did the things he did as a caregiver- I’m sure I did. But I also had the blessing of his wisdom back then. I had so many teachers reminding me to listen to and respect the words, thoughts and actions of a person with a disability. It was my job as a caregiver to hear them and to help them navigate their world in their own way. There is one thought that sticks with me, and I apologize that I can’t remember who to give the credit too- but there was a time when I worked with people with fairly profound disabilities on a daily basis. We worked to teach them daily living skills. How to unload the dishwasher, dress themselves, shop for themselves, feed themselves. I remember someone wise interjecting during a weekend caregiving stint, that just because someone can do something, doesn’t mean you have to make a lesson of it every single time. Sometimes, it’s nice to have someone get you your cup of coffee. It doesn’t mean you weren’t capable and need to prove that you are learning every single time.

Where am I going with this? Especially since it seems to be the opposite of Dave’s point? That the point is to learn to listen to people. To every person. To put aside the soundtrack in your head of what you think someone should or could do and notice them today.

All people- and here’s the light that just flipped on as I was reading Dave; including the people that aren’t labeled as “disabled”. I’m outing myself here. Sometimes, I’m hyper-critical of Zuzu. Not here, but in the moment, when she’s having a hard time and not behaving like how I think she should behave in a given situation. I rationalize, well she’s new to this earth. She needs me to instruct her. She needs me to tell her we are going to storytime now, because that’s when it is scheduled and you’ll just have to be able to sit still and listen to the nice lady like all the other kids because that’s where good parents take their kids. Even though I see the energy practically bursting out of her. I see that she wants to run and play and not have to answer to anyone at this moment.

I’m still reflecting on this. I’m not suggesting parents don’t owe it to their children to instruct them. I know we do, but we also owe it to our children to let them be who they are. The difference is when the Quail hollers and screams at me and knocks her carefully prepared food off of her plate- I tell her no, but later I will reflect on her strength, her ability to have an opinion and her ability to communicate it so clearly. I make my focus to try to offer a choice next time so she can choose what she wants. I work on the sign for eat and for drink- so next time she wants one or the other she has an easier way to get her point across. Because she has a disability- I expect to have to slow down and learn to work with her, because of how I’ve been trained. Because of this training I know she’ll get there. I tend to not make overarching generalizations about what it means about her capacity and what kind of person she’ll be or what kind of trouble she’ll have or whether or not she’ll grow up to be a doctor some day or not. I know to wait and listen to her and let her find her voice.

I don’t always give Zuzu that same wide girth. If she does the very same action, more often than not, my response is to despair something along the lines of, “Oh no! Not again, you know better than to do that!” And then put her in time out and then later scan my ever-growing library of discipline books for the latest technique to “manage her behavior”.

And don’t get me wrong- I’m not talking about the age dependant biggies here- The Quail- she bites me- she goes to time out. She hits, she gets told no hitting, be gentle and shown how to use her little hand. The next meal we try to be a little more prompt about introducing the choices before she’s so far gone she’d eat her own arm to get a bite of dinner.

But Zuzu, sometimes I forget she is just a little kid. She’s so grown up in so many ways and is the first to tell me what she knows and correct what I think I know. Sometimes I think she should already know more than she does. 

Dave says, “Stop listening to what the stereotype cripple is saying loudly in your head and listen to what the real cripple is saying out loud in the real world. Is it so much to ask?”

It’s not too much to ask Dave. Sometimes we all need reminders. Sometimes we are better about remembering the lesson with some and not others. The listening I think comes easier to me with the Quail than it does with anyone else in my life. Probably because I’ve had so  much practice and lessons on listening to those with disabilities. I guess in some ways I do still group her as having a disability by affording her actions more respect than I do other people’s. I guess what I realize now- is that it’s really time for that lesson to sink in and generalize a bit. If I’m really going to treat people with disabilities with the respect I afford others- then I need to remember to treat others with the respect I afford those with disabilities.  I need to really get the
message that we are all more like than different.

Thank goodness children are pretty darn forgiving.

See What I Saw Saturday: Continuing to bust up a stereotype…

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...or really hear what I heard...

Last year I posted this during Down syndrome Awareness month:

“Babies that have Down syndrome are not passive angels that are alway happy. They are regular babies with a full range of emotions just like any other baby. If you assume my baby who happens to have Down syndrome is filled with joy and wants to love everyone she meets; you will be sorely disappointed as she clearly notes that you are not one of her people if she hasn’t already met you and hung out with you. She will give you a cutting look and turn back to her people.

She knows us and if you take the time, she may get to know you.  You will have to earn her love, trust and respect the same as you have to earn mine.

Now that said; please do take the time to get to know her and let her get to know you.  She is awesome.”

As time has gone on- it hasn’t changed. Except; now she has perfected her fine motor skills she will slap the hand of any baby-lovin stranger away from her. Oh- and turn her back. Physical therapy has done wonders as well!

Quailday:PPU with Sara Rosenfeld Johnson

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The Quail’s been a busy bird in terms of her eating in the last few months. This has probably been the most challenging area for us. Mostly it’s the learning curve of repeatedly finding out that you don’t know exactly what all is going on inside that little digestive tract and it’s openings. We’ve been doing oral-motor therapy since the Quail was about 5.5 months old under the supervision of our super OT Kathy. Last spring we had the opportunity to take part in one of Sara Rosenfeld Johnson’s traveling clinic and get a formal evaluation. This happened after our first swallow study and Upper GI and before the infamous duodenal stenosis repair. Since that time the Quail’s been on a bit of a diet yo-yo. Right after surgery she gained 2 lbs within a month. This isn’t too surprising considering that even with all the roadblocks she had to good nutrition she managed to plant her weight firmly at the 50% growth curve on the standard charts. As her food world has opened up, she has dived in with vigor. Since that time she has been working her way through Sara’s straw hierarchy and working on the bite tube set. She’s advanced to being able to chew a lot more soft, meltable type foods in a munching style. The straws have helped tremendously with tongue retraction and she does keep her tongue in its little warming hut most of the time. Both Kathy and Sara have been great about offering up and trying a variety of suggestions of oral-motor exercises and when one doesn’t work, getting rid of it and moving on to something else. Sara has been clear that the more enjoyable the activity is for the Quail the more successful we will be with the oral-placement therapy and the safer and happier eating will be with the added bonus of clearer speech as she grows.

Have I mentioned before how much of a…ahem…temper…the Quail can have when she doesn’t like or want to do something? There’s no bossing this girl around. We tried our best to be prepared for the program plan update. Sara comes through town 2 times a year and you can get a plan update, record the session and bring your entourage of therapists and family members along to learn the protocol and understand the therapy better. The Quail packs a roomful and we’re grateful for all the extra time out of everyone’s busy days that they have been able to muster to join us.

In preparation we repeated the swallow study last week in hopes of good news that maybe we could cease thickening her liquids. The straw hierarchy is supposed to be practiced with think liquids, but since it hasn’t been safe for the Quail we’ve thickened it to a nectar consistency since our swallow study last April. I guess what I found out is that I didn’t know exactly how aspiration and dysphagia worked. I thought as she got older and stronger she would have more control. The SLP who did the swallow study said that typically what happens is that when a growth spurt happens and her “equipment” grows; she has to work her muscles harder to achieve the same result. So her risk for aspiration may actually vary as she ages. She said that until she is 8-10 years old mentally we wouldn’t be able to intentionally work on swallowing exercises. So for now the best way to develop her skill is practice with safe foods. During this swallow study she showed micro and actual aspiration with liquids up to a honey consistency. This was disappointing because last April she was cleared for a nectar or thinner consistency with the liquids. It was noted though that with the honey consistency and an upright position and proper chin-tuck she showed no difficulty or aspiration when she drank through the therapeutic straw. So that was good news. The other issue was that while she munched meltables like Puffs, she was swallowing other solid foods whole. So the recommendations were to continue with the straw drinking and to work on chewing.

I’ll back up and say that at this point we have randomly tried various foods. There are some- like taffy, steak, deli meats that we instinctually knew not to try but others like cubed bits of apple or small bites of a chip and fruits that we have tried. Sometimes she’s gagged and thrown up and other times it’s just slipped on down. Sara pointed out with things like wet, slippery noodles and pieces of fruit that the Quail would briefly suck on the piece before swallowing it whole. She still has difficulty with tongue lateralization  and would flip the piece of food over in her mouth with her tongue rather than moving it back and forth. So we have an approved list of foods. I had typed up all of the ones she eats routinely before we went in. And we now are clear to not vary her diet for the immediate future from these items so we don’t endanger her.

Her biting has greatly improved, but is still pretty weak on her right side. So the best exercise for that- is chewing! Which the Quail is happy to assist with. We now will offer bite-size pieces of about a 1/4-inch to either molar, with double the offerings to the right or weaker side to give it a bit more of a work out.

We’re holding off on teaching her to spoon feed and restricting her independent feeding now too. Not because she isn’t capable of learning this. She really likes to feed herself and is happy to have you show her how to use a spoon hand over hand. But remember that temper I mentioned before? Well when she doesn’t like something she is a pistol. We want to preserve her willingness to let us in her mouth as long as possible. Sara felt confident that at some point in the near future, the Quail would most likely insist on feeding herself and at that point how frequently she lets us in her mouth for exercise and safety precautions would greatly diminish.

I felt a little sad at this change, not that I think the Quail will mind at all. She’s all for a personal feeder. But it did feel like going backwards in her progress. That being said, mealtimes have been extremely nerve-wracking for the last few months as we have watched her squirrel away food in her little cheeks and watched the morsels make a home just under the roof of her mouth as she struggles between trying to clear the food from her mouth and wanting to simultaneously stuff the food in her mouth as fast as she can get to it. So ultimately I think the slowing down is a wise and safe choice. She’ll get to independent feeding soon enough. It’s important she learn how to eat safely and build up her strength.

The other issue that felt like a step back was that for the next month we are going to thin out her purees and she will drink the main portion of her meal after she’s had chompers training with the table food. When we used the spoon to feed her she would push her tongue out in eagerness to get to the food and it would become a struggle to get her to use her lip to take the food off the spoon. In essence the spoon was encouraging tongue protrusion and undermining the work we had been doing with the straw and syringes on tongue retraction. So it’s smoothies and protein shakes for a while for this girl!

She did good with her Ellie Jiggler while we were there- which was surprising. She consistently bites the ear of poor Ellie at home. But with Sara’s practiced hand we were able to elicit one time. Sara felt that if she can do it then we work on it. But at the point in which we struggle with her to not bite it then we move on to another activity. She now will use the red and yellow chewy tubes for biting practice as well.

The other major change was that oral-motor exercises are now to be done at times other than mealtimes. In the last month or so the girl has been more than a little uncooperative as she salivates at the prospect of her meal coming and shoots withering looks and pteradactyl-like screams at our heads as we try to convince her that Ellie Jiggler is just as fun as a cheeseburger. Hopefully removing the exercises from mealtime will help make them and the mealtimes more pleasant all the way around.

Quailday: Eye on the prize…

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She’s getting there! And Momma may have a heart attack along the way! If you’ll notice she chose to do her first “all-by-her-own-self-pull-to-stand” trick on a slippery surface. I literally stopped in mid air with a quick mental debate to snap the picture when she got up or swoop in for a rescue. You can tell by the quality of the photo that I went with a compromise.

This picture was probably a month ago. In physical therapy we can help her with minimal assist to stand and then play and she’ll stay up for a record 19 minutes to date. She’s definitely getting stronger in her core. Now when she starts her lopey crawl down the hall to us she will manage to stay up on all fours for a stride or two before dropping back down into military motions (army-crawl). Her transitions from one area to another and one toy to another have her spending more time in a tall-kneel and her need to continue a daily read-a-thon have encouraged her to take matters into her own hands and pull up!

Our dear Mattie who comes in to spend one-on-one time with the Quail at her school 3-4 days a week sends us a daily update of how the playtime went and I have to say it is one of my high-lights of each day reading about this little bird’s antics. Be it, sweet, sleepy, naughty, into everything or insistent behaviors. Mattie and her have developed a happy rapport and I really get the sense that Mattie gets what is going on in the Quail’s sweet noggin and has the ability to make the most of it and go with her flow. Today’s note demonstrated her using her newfound strength & language to further her campaign platform for longer storytimes for all children:

“Then, I got out her toys and she wanted her Puppies book. I read it once and she signed “book” and “please” so I read it again and then again. She kept signing “book” and “please” so I put the puppies book in the red toy bucket. She crawled over to get it. She tried to lift herself up but didn’t quite get it so she sat down and I heard her say “doggie” and then she signed “book” and “please” again (Ms. Patty heard doggie too). I told her to go get it and that’s when she pulled herself up. She grabbed the book and plopped back down so I read it to her again.”

Way to fly little bird!

Quailday: another kind of happily ever after…

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Do you know Dave Hingsberger?

He’s a strong advocate and friend to a lot of us that find our lives touched by the world of disability. He’s compassionate, thoughtful and quickly analytical. He gets the struggles that sometimes seem inherent in the lives of those that are marginalized by their communities. I had the good fortune of hearing him speak many moons ago as a young social work intern learning my way in the field of disability advocacy. His words touched my heart and stayed with me even though I only saw him a few times and so very long ago.

Shortly after the Quail was born and I found myself repeatedly googling disability issues and reacquainting myself with our modern-day heroes and advocates. I found out that Dave makes himself a willing and daily member and advocate of our community via his blog. What good fortune! What wisdom. I feel so blessed to live in a world where technology has enabled me to have access to wisdom and support at all hours of the day.  Particularly on sleepless nights when my mind is in a race with my heart to beat out worry.

A couple of months ago Dave took fingers to the keyboard to convey the unconventional wisdom found in an ordinary everyday situation- a mom and her teenage son dickering about his right to be independent on a daily basis. His right to the dignity of risk. Years ago, as a young whippersnapper of a social worker living in a liberal community,  I would have read this story, and been rallying around that young teenager. Of course he should get to go get his food in the mall without an escort. It’s the mall, he’s a teenager, teenagers hang at the mall all of the time without befalling dire consequences. Right? Having a disability shouldn’t mean you have to be escorted everywhere.

But sadly, in our world, in this day, those everyday situations can befall horrible outcomes. Not everyone respects people’s dignity of risk or frankly- human life. Some people spend their time making others who have worked so hard to be a part of the community, to be accepted, to at least be allowed to live in peace, live a nightmare- at best. As a mother I hear about these stories and I want to take both of my children in my arms and never let anyone talk to them without first going through a battery of testing of my own. The fear eats at me. The worry of what I can do to prevent any harm befalling anyone tugs at my soul. Why anyone would insist that their right to call someone a ret@rd is more of a priority than the person on the receiving end’s dignity is beyond me. Just because we have the right to say what we want doesn’t mean we have to. I will never understand people defending their right to be mean. It’s one thing for someone to make a mistake, realize it, apologize and learn from it. We’re all human. It’s a diagnosable personality disorder to defend the right to hurt others.

The critics and trolls insist that as parents and advocates asking you to please remove this slang from your vocabulary is petty, politically correct and  an overstatement of the issue at hand. I would say the extinction of Ernie Hernandez Jr’s life is a sad statement to the seriousness of the issue.

Our world is changing though. It’s this fact that restores my faith. The world understands now that people who clinically have the diagnosis of mental retardation can learn. They may learn differently, but they do learn. The term retardation when used appropriately isn’t the issue. The issue is that a wide sect of people use it to degrade others and then defend their right to be ignorant about it. The issue is so significant that even the medical community has decided to step in and revise their language. The correct term in the DSM-V will be intellectual disability.

We can all learn, if we are willing. As a friend, a community member, as a co-worker, as a family member, as a fellow human being I am telling you it gives me pause when you say ret@rd in reference to something you did that you think was stupid. I know you may not have thought about it before. I know you may not have had any reason to question it. Everyone says it right?

Well give me a few minutes of your time and open your hearts and mind and take the opportunity to learn about the history of people diagnosed with mental retardation. Read this. Know the struggles that have been faced and won, and those that still exist. If you still disagree about the significance of the R word, that’s fine. Just as a friend- please don’t use it around me or my family. That’s at least a start.

And as to that teenager and his mother; well, let me commend her and her brave heart. She listened to her son. As a social worker and disability advocate I had no doubts about his rights. As a momma to a sweet Quail making her world in her community, I stand guard to the harm that may befall her one day. And hopefully, one day, I’ll be as brave as that Momma to know when it’s time to let her fly. With the wisdom of folks like Dave, I’m sure I’ll stay the course.

Our language frames how we think about others. Help eliminate the R-word from everyday speech. Won’t you please join me in taking the pledge to end the R word?

The Stisters Autumn Adventures begin…

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The Stisters (Zuzu’s pronunciation) are on the go! It’s the beginning of the school year and both girls are in the middle of transition woes. About a week into the new school  year it dawned on us that maybe Zuzu doesn’t remember any of her other dear teachers other than the one she had for the last 2 years. Poor thing is having a bit of a difficult adjustment. She seems to be doing ok in the classroom, but she has started bemoaning having to go in the morning, sulks into her spot at group time when dropped off and is a bundle of frayed nerves most of the rest of the evening when we pick her up. The tiniest thing- say, a chip falling on the floor, my stupidly bending to pick it up, my not anticipating her exact reaction to the announcement of bedtime sets her off into a flurry of tears. We’re trying to be patient and kind and lowering our expectations for going out and about in the evening for a while until she settles in.

And she will- settle in that is. She’s excited to have a handful of girls in her class and talks about them endlessly. She’s spent most of her first 3 years in classes primarily comprised of little boys and seems excited to have little counterparts that are equally excited to go to dance class with her. When we went to get fitted for this years outfit the girl flitted and twirled her way through the studio. Both her teachers stared open-mouthed at her energy and eagerness. Both indicated that she was quiet as a mouse the year before. It will be interesting to see if once Momma is not there if she’ll continue her enthusiasm or go back to mousehood.

The 3 year old class is a HUGE change in structure from what she is used to though. The kiddo’s have assigned duties each week and by tuesday Zuzu can list off who is line leader, door holder, spoon hander-outer and table wiper. She’s clear on what gets her daily smiley face taken away and quick to point out to her teacher when she’s earned it back. She happily shows me the footprints around the room that demonstrate where the line-up starts for different activities and shows me where her spot is at the table. She’s a good kid and likes it to be known when she does something right so I think in time it will feel less like too much pressure and more like the comfort of orderly routine.

The Quail’s transition into the Toddler Room is going along pretty well too. Lovey and I have both spent some time in the class with her and each of her therapists have taken turns bringing her in and helping her to get to know the structure and routine. She’s definitely looking forward to getting to spend lunchtime with the big kids. This week while she was finishing up her visit the lunches were brought to the room and as they were being handed out she decided to stand herself up at the table to emphasize that it was her turn! Our girl loves food! And on that happy note I’m also thrilled to report that her thyroid tests came back in the normal range. We’ve had a few reports of how tired she seems a couple of times a week and rather spaced out. I was a little worried that it might be thyroid related but that appears to not be the case.

In speech this week she also started saying “pider” for a tune to be played in addition to holding up her spiders. She also pushes her little foot at you if you ask to see her piggies. We’re working on body parts and belly and head and foot are pretty consistent.

Here’s a picture from the first day of school- gosh they look so big!