Dear Pudge,

I’ve decided I’d like to emulate you. My mom thinks I might be taking things too far. I had surgery recently and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my meals since then. The doctor told me I’ve gained 1 lb in two weeks. My mom thinks that’s too much. I think I”m just making up for lost time. At any rate, I’d just like to show you that I’ll take your Pudge, and see you a dinner roll thigh and arm or two.

Much love, The Quail (soon to be Big Bird)