Gratitude Journal: Why I’m grateful for Down syndrome

1. Because it is a basic part of The Quail- and she’s beautiful as she is

2. Because of the community it has made me a part of

3. Because it helped me to understand and bond with my mother in a way I never could have if my child hadn’t been diagnosed with a disability

4. Because it has helped me to see the basic kindness in others I might otherwise have missed

5. Because it’s given me a medical base of knowledge that I might not otherwise have had

6. Because it’s brought tears of joy and admiration to my eyes and heart more times than I can count. People really are amazing.

7. Because it’s helped me to be more sensitive to others needs around me

8. Because it’s helped me to appreciate the ordinariness of life that really is a miracle

9. Because it’s helped me understand that we get what we get and we don’t get upset

10. Because it’s encouraged me to look for the positive in life

12. Because it’s shown me the positive in life

11. Because I can’t picture her little face with it’s tell-tale signs any other way

12. Because of all of the lil sack-o-sugar cuddles it’s granted me

13. Because it’s caused me to be a little less arrogant about what I think I know

14. Because it’s inspired a creativity in me that’s been dormant for some time

15. Because it’s brought forth a confidence in me that wasn’t there before

16. Because it’s brought a world of strangers into my life that have become friends, family, role models, advocates and teachers

17. Because it helps me to see that it is going to be alright

18. Because it has helped me to be closer to a number of friends and family

19. Because it has helped me appreciate my friends and family

20. Because it has made me aware of stereotypes I didn’t even know I held.

21. Because it’s what my life has been leading up to till this moment in time and it’s nice to finally be here and let out the breath I’ve been holding

See What I Saw Saturday: Continuing to bust up a stereotype…

...or really hear what I heard...

Last year I posted this during Down syndrome Awareness month:

“Babies that have Down syndrome are not passive angels that are alway happy. They are regular babies with a full range of emotions just like any other baby. If you assume my baby who happens to have Down syndrome is filled with joy and wants to love everyone she meets; you will be sorely disappointed as she clearly notes that you are not one of her people if she hasn’t already met you and hung out with you. She will give you a cutting look and turn back to her people.

She knows us and if you take the time, she may get to know you.  You will have to earn her love, trust and respect the same as you have to earn mine.

Now that said; please do take the time to get to know her and let her get to know you.  She is awesome.”

As time has gone on- it hasn’t changed. Except; now she has perfected her fine motor skills she will slap the hand of any baby-lovin stranger away from her. Oh- and turn her back. Physical therapy has done wonders as well!

Fave-O-Lit Friday

Wonder

By Natalie Merchant

Doctors have come
from distant cities
just to see me
stand over my bed
disbelieving what they’re seeing

They say I must be one of the wonders
of God’s own creation
and as far as they can see they can offer
no explanation

Newspapers ask
intimate questions
want confessions
they reach into my head
to steal the glory
of my story

They say I must be one of the wonders
of God’s own creation
and as far as they as they see they can offer
no explanation

I believe
fate smiled & destiny
laughed as she came to my cradle
“know this child will be able”
laughed as my body she lifted
“know this child will be gifted
with love, with patience
and with faith
she’ll make her way”

People see me
I’m a challenge
to your balance
I’m over your heads
how I confound you
and astound you
to know I must be one of the wonders
of God’s own creation
and as far as you can see you can offer me
no explanation

I believe
fate smiled & destiny
laughed as she came to my cradle
“know this child will be able”
laughed as she came to my mother
“know this child will not suffer ”
laughed as my body she lifted
“know this child will be gifted
with love, with patience
and with faith
she’ll make her way”

 

 

Lyrics are © 1995 Elektra Entertainment Group

Quailday:PPU with Sara Rosenfeld Johnson

The Quail’s been a busy bird in terms of her eating in the last few months. This has probably been the most challenging area for us. Mostly it’s the learning curve of repeatedly finding out that you don’t know exactly what all is going on inside that little digestive tract and it’s openings. We’ve been doing oral-motor therapy since the Quail was about 5.5 months old under the supervision of our super OT Kathy. Last spring we had the opportunity to take part in one of Sara Rosenfeld Johnson’s traveling clinic and get a formal evaluation. This happened after our first swallow study and Upper GI and before the infamous duodenal stenosis repair. Since that time the Quail’s been on a bit of a diet yo-yo. Right after surgery she gained 2 lbs within a month. This isn’t too surprising considering that even with all the roadblocks she had to good nutrition she managed to plant her weight firmly at the 50% growth curve on the standard charts. As her food world has opened up, she has dived in with vigor. Since that time she has been working her way through Sara’s straw hierarchy and working on the bite tube set. She’s advanced to being able to chew a lot more soft, meltable type foods in a munching style. The straws have helped tremendously with tongue retraction and she does keep her tongue in its little warming hut most of the time. Both Kathy and Sara have been great about offering up and trying a variety of suggestions of oral-motor exercises and when one doesn’t work, getting rid of it and moving on to something else. Sara has been clear that the more enjoyable the activity is for the Quail the more successful we will be with the oral-placement therapy and the safer and happier eating will be with the added bonus of clearer speech as she grows.

Have I mentioned before how much of a…ahem…temper…the Quail can have when she doesn’t like or want to do something? There’s no bossing this girl around. We tried our best to be prepared for the program plan update. Sara comes through town 2 times a year and you can get a plan update, record the session and bring your entourage of therapists and family members along to learn the protocol and understand the therapy better. The Quail packs a roomful and we’re grateful for all the extra time out of everyone’s busy days that they have been able to muster to join us.

In preparation we repeated the swallow study last week in hopes of good news that maybe we could cease thickening her liquids. The straw hierarchy is supposed to be practiced with think liquids, but since it hasn’t been safe for the Quail we’ve thickened it to a nectar consistency since our swallow study last April. I guess what I found out is that I didn’t know exactly how aspiration and dysphagia worked. I thought as she got older and stronger she would have more control. The SLP who did the swallow study said that typically what happens is that when a growth spurt happens and her “equipment” grows; she has to work her muscles harder to achieve the same result. So her risk for aspiration may actually vary as she ages. She said that until she is 8-10 years old mentally we wouldn’t be able to intentionally work on swallowing exercises. So for now the best way to develop her skill is practice with safe foods. During this swallow study she showed micro and actual aspiration with liquids up to a honey consistency. This was disappointing because last April she was cleared for a nectar or thinner consistency with the liquids. It was noted though that with the honey consistency and an upright position and proper chin-tuck she showed no difficulty or aspiration when she drank through the therapeutic straw. So that was good news. The other issue was that while she munched meltables like Puffs, she was swallowing other solid foods whole. So the recommendations were to continue with the straw drinking and to work on chewing.

I’ll back up and say that at this point we have randomly tried various foods. There are some- like taffy, steak, deli meats that we instinctually knew not to try but others like cubed bits of apple or small bites of a chip and fruits that we have tried. Sometimes she’s gagged and thrown up and other times it’s just slipped on down. Sara pointed out with things like wet, slippery noodles and pieces of fruit that the Quail would briefly suck on the piece before swallowing it whole. She still has difficulty with tongue lateralization  and would flip the piece of food over in her mouth with her tongue rather than moving it back and forth. So we have an approved list of foods. I had typed up all of the ones she eats routinely before we went in. And we now are clear to not vary her diet for the immediate future from these items so we don’t endanger her.

Her biting has greatly improved, but is still pretty weak on her right side. So the best exercise for that- is chewing! Which the Quail is happy to assist with. We now will offer bite-size pieces of about a 1/4-inch to either molar, with double the offerings to the right or weaker side to give it a bit more of a work out.

We’re holding off on teaching her to spoon feed and restricting her independent feeding now too. Not because she isn’t capable of learning this. She really likes to feed herself and is happy to have you show her how to use a spoon hand over hand. But remember that temper I mentioned before? Well when she doesn’t like something she is a pistol. We want to preserve her willingness to let us in her mouth as long as possible. Sara felt confident that at some point in the near future, the Quail would most likely insist on feeding herself and at that point how frequently she lets us in her mouth for exercise and safety precautions would greatly diminish.

I felt a little sad at this change, not that I think the Quail will mind at all. She’s all for a personal feeder. But it did feel like going backwards in her progress. That being said, mealtimes have been extremely nerve-wracking for the last few months as we have watched her squirrel away food in her little cheeks and watched the morsels make a home just under the roof of her mouth as she struggles between trying to clear the food from her mouth and wanting to simultaneously stuff the food in her mouth as fast as she can get to it. So ultimately I think the slowing down is a wise and safe choice. She’ll get to independent feeding soon enough. It’s important she learn how to eat safely and build up her strength.

The other issue that felt like a step back was that for the next month we are going to thin out her purees and she will drink the main portion of her meal after she’s had chompers training with the table food. When we used the spoon to feed her she would push her tongue out in eagerness to get to the food and it would become a struggle to get her to use her lip to take the food off the spoon. In essence the spoon was encouraging tongue protrusion and undermining the work we had been doing with the straw and syringes on tongue retraction. So it’s smoothies and protein shakes for a while for this girl!

She did good with her Ellie Jiggler while we were there- which was surprising. She consistently bites the ear of poor Ellie at home. But with Sara’s practiced hand we were able to elicit one time. Sara felt that if she can do it then we work on it. But at the point in which we struggle with her to not bite it then we move on to another activity. She now will use the red and yellow chewy tubes for biting practice as well.

The other major change was that oral-motor exercises are now to be done at times other than mealtimes. In the last month or so the girl has been more than a little uncooperative as she salivates at the prospect of her meal coming and shoots withering looks and pteradactyl-like screams at our heads as we try to convince her that Ellie Jiggler is just as fun as a cheeseburger. Hopefully removing the exercises from mealtime will help make them and the mealtimes more pleasant all the way around.

corner view: orange

 

happy corner viewing!

Comm

Zuzuday: 4 precious years

 

Our spirited Miss turns 4 years old today! I can hardly believe the time has gone by so quickly…and yet we couldn’t be prouder. I can’t imagine our lives  without your spirit, your grin, your presence and your kindness dear Zuzu. You are wise beyond your years and teach us so much every single day. Your kindness as you’ve matured into an amazingly spirited, generous, kind and thoughtful big sister in this last year is so natural and graceful. The world is a better place for having you in it. May you always be the free and kindly spirit that you are today. May you stay in love with life throughout your own. You are such a role model to us all. Bless your kind head child.

 

We love you more than we can say dear one.

Gratitude Journal: In honor of 4 years with Zuzu

1.your keen sense of fashion and explanations for what “matches”

2. your ridiculously and suddenly rationale explanations for why we should do what you say

3. the way you love to run and jump around in boy fashion dressed in all girl fashion

4. your kindess to ones smaller then you

5. your shyness in new situations

6. when you burst from that shy shell to put yourself out there and try to make friends

7. that you are a momma and daddy’s girl all roled into one

8. your ability to be thrilled at the tiniest event or errand, “Yay!!!! It’s home day!” “Yay, we’re going to the market!”

9. that you prefer french salt, english scones, donuts, kefir, whole-milk plain yogurt, Kashi cereal, prime rib, pink gelatos, cereal bars, gummies, pops (lollies), quesadilla and little trees to just about anything else

10. your insistence that eating a popsicle will make any boo-boo better.

11. your need to wear band-aids as body art

12. your love of all things ordinary: the park, the market, the library, school, the doctor and dentist, tubby-time and weeknight restaurant treats

13. that you and your sister have matching laughs

14. how you like to have your and your sister’s outfits match

15. how easily you fell in love with the role of big sister

16. your funny interpretations of words like keep-saving, seat-cart, stister

17. your strawberry blonde hair

18. your knock-knock joke telling, story reading and brief but exuberant dance and singing recitals in our kitchen

19. your reminders of what a good girl you are! (Look, Momma: I don’t spill! I brushed my teeth! I pooped in the potty! I listened to my body! I listened to my teacher! I was a good friend! I colored on the paper! I didn’t have a fit!

20. your curious and kind nature

21. your exuberance