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Yearly Archives: 2010
Fave-O-Lit Friday
Those whose minds are shaped by selfless thoughts give joy when they speak or act. Joy follows them like a shadow that never leaves them. ~ Buddha
Quailday: Ladybug-Cheetah
The Quail had a mid-holiday costume change as well. She went to school as a ladybug stister to her mommy’s purple flower but unfortunately an untimely accident made a need for a costume change for the rest of the weekend.
Although contrary to rampant speculation, I don’t believe she felt “cheetahed” out of a princess costume! She was a happy little itty-cat all weekend long inspite of the ban on candy in her Elmo. She’s sweet enough without it!
corner view: famous
Well, we’re not. It’s fortunate for us that this topic fell in our holiday highlights week post-Halloween! We got to spend our holiday in the presence of Snow White! As I mentioned yesterday there were a number of costume changes before arriving on this one. My fashionista could not be hemmed in by the idea of being just one thing for Halloween. As sweet as this is, it does give me some envy of all the mommies enjoying the 1/2 off post Halloween costume sales around the country planting the seed in their little’s mind for next year. It didn’t work for me a month a head, so no way would it help us out a year ahead.
And Snow White ran into sweet Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz…
But really folks, that’s about all we have to say about the famous folks. For more famous ideas:
jane – ian – bonnie – joyce – kim – kay – trinsch – ritva – francesca – state of bliss – cabrizette – isabelle – janis – kari – jgy – lise – cate – otli – dorte – b – sophie – mcgillicutty – sunnymama – daan – ibb – pienduzz – kelleyn – ninja – sammi – theresa – cherry b – juliette – shokoofeh – cole – grey lemon – lucylaine – lynn – skywriting – anna – dorit – conny – l´atelier – kamana – anne marie – rosamaría – victoria – tikjewit – juniper – annabel – andrea – valerie – merel – soisses – mlle paradis – cacahuete – wander chow – barbara – emily – tally – nadine – matilda – don – flowtops – susanna – tania – dana – ingrid – mary – hinke
Zuzuday: Halloween is a fashionista’s dream…
Oh dear Zuzu, this holiday was made for you! Our Gal Friday went as…well everything but Girl Friday! A lovely pink fairy costume was purchased at her request last month for the big day. Then somewhere along the line she insisted that we buy her Dora’s backpack so that she could complete her Dora get-up. Unfortunately that one is yet to be photographed as she is always busy exploring when she has it on. The week before the holiday she announced she was returning to last year’s Word Girl hit. Then the day of her school party she vascilated between being a “heart-pink” ballerina and a ladybug to match her sister. When I picked her up from school I noticed a bee costume in her cubby. The final winner was Snow White for our trip to the mountains and on the big day itself when we told her we were going trick-or-treating with Sophie she jumped up and started chanting, ” Snow White… oh, yeahhhh…oh, yeahhhhh…. Snow White…oh, yeahhhhhh….oh yeahhhh….
Mommaday: cuteness
More cuteness to come- but in the meantime to tide you over
Gratitude Journal:Gratitude for a sibling…
Let me start by saying that it may seem an oddity to end 31 for 21 with a post about Zuzu- but really the intention is to show my gratitude for both of the girls and the family that they have made us. Bethany blogged about siblings of children with special needs a while ago and the post stuck with me. As a sibling of a woman with special needs I’m aware of some of the research surrounding the topic of siblings. I’m aware that it’s been said that 80% of the attention in a family with a child with special needs goes to that child. I know it’s important in a family that we celebrate everyone. That in order for us all to continue on our journey together happily we all need to each feel important. That the Quail needs to know what makes her special outside of her Down syndrome and that Zuzu need not feel slighted because of it. We want Down syndrome to not necessarily be what makes our family extraordinary, but rather just an ordinary part of our daily lives.
Part of their daily lives right now is each other. I want to remember this time when the sight of each other brings the biggest grin to their days. I know there will come a time when they might not see each other the same as they do now. Right now their view is wrapped in love and innocence. These are some of my favorite images and memories from the last 20 plus months of the stisters together.
I know that lots of people worry that having a sibling with special needs is a burden to the family. Frankly I worried about just having a second child and how little attention my firstborn would get and how she would suffer from that. I worried about her little fall from being the entire center of our worlds and how she would handle it. And that was long before any diagnosis entered the picture. So I’m sensitive to it. I’ve been looking for it. I hope anyone that reads this and has that worry can have it abated just a tiny bit and begin to picture the good and love and compassion that can be generated because of it. This generation that gets to grow up with a sibling with special needs in their home- they have been blessed with learning a new kind of normal. One that might help to make our world a little more compassionate one day. Maybe a little less judgmental. Maybe one where the child who needs our love and support very much doesn’t have to even fathom that the people that love them best could even think of calling them a burden. We’re all special. We all have needs. We’re all unique. These girls of mine, right now at least; they see the blessing in sharing their days with each other.
1. During my barfy 5 months of early pregnancy Zuzu was insistent on following me into the bathroom while I barfed my daily contents out. She was completely unphased by this and would frequently hold my hair back and pat my back. Occasionally she even brought her snack in to eat while she watched the show and kindly offered me some to fill my now empty belly. What upset her was if I tried to shut the door so she didn’t have to witness it. That was criminal in her mind.
2. During our bedtime routine I would lay on Zuzu’s bed and read her stories. I would ask her about different baby names. She got stuck on the Quail’s real name and would refer to her as Baby Abby.
2. During our bedtime routine she would take a dolly blanket and lay it on my belly and pat it telling Baby Abby to sleep tight.
3. When we came home from the hospital she immediately went to Baby Abby- declared her by her full name: “Baby Abby Abigail Charlotte”. Said, “I love you Baby Abby Abigail Charlotte. ” and kissed her toes as she had been practicing with Gramma Char.
4. She then brought over the welcome home card she and Gramma had made her and tucked it into her carrier.
5. I was pretty nervous about nursing the new baby in front of her. Since she was still nursing I was worried it might create frustration or anger. The very first time though she very politely and quietly, if not woefully sat down across from us and watched with tear-filled doe-eyes as I nursed her little sister and was clear that sissy went first. She was so sweet about it I let her join in and our tandem relationship was born. Thankfully in hind-site I’m grateful for her graciousness in this arena. Because of Zuzu, the Quail was able to have a full breastmilk supply up until 15 months even though nursing was so difficult for her and she was never able to nurse regularly. Without Zuzu’s continued interest in nursing throughout our dry spells in pregnancy and continuing after she was born I might not have been able to have the supply base to continue to provide for her. What a priceless gift.
6. That very first tandem nursing session, Zuzu instinctually reached out to hold the Quail’s hand. They’ve been frequent hand-holders ever since then. In the shopping cart, in the backseat of the car, while watching TV, through the fence at school…I have a photo of their little hands entwined it’s one of my happiest images.
7. Within a couple of days of the Quail’s birth, Zuzu was bursting at the seams to go back to school and relay her change in status to big sister. When she arrived that first day she announced to everyone who she passed by that “Baby Abby Abigail Charlotte is here! She used to live in the hospital but now she lives with us!” She happily posed under the announcement that had been hung up at school for a picture.
8. Bravely one night she announced that she was leaving Momma and Baby Abby’s room as she was getting ready for bed. It broke my heart that she was so accepting of it. It was probably one of the first separations I felt of her and I. Of course, I did what any post-partum, hormonal, sleep deprived momma would do. I told her she was welcome to come back in and sleep with us. We’re still working on correcting that 🙂
9. At the 1 week birthday for the Quail, Zuzu made us all hold hands (baby included) while we sang Happy birthday to her and the a few rounds of Barney’s “I love you.”
10. At an early on playdate the Quail was happily sucking on her Sophie Giraffe teether when another kid decided they wanted a turn with it. As soon as Zuzu heard the high-pitched scream of her sissy she went running to engage in a not-so-friendly tug-of-war round to retrieve it. Generally I don’t condone aggression in the girls, but I admired her instincts this time.
11. I’ve heard from multiple school mommies that their little kids have asked to get their own Baby Abby. I’m fairly certain it’s due to Zuzu’s adoration of her baby sister. It’s always come from kids in her class.
12. M is a hard consonant for the Quail. So it’s no surprise that I’ve yet to hear a regular Mom from her her. On the other hand, she’s managed to nickname Zuzu Ada as an approximation of her real name. It’s surprisingly distinct from Dada and itty-cat.
13. I keep trying to capture on film their giggling together. Sometime in the last 6 months Zuzu has decided that the Quail loves nothing better than to be scared by her. Each time she does it I cringe as Zuzu comes barreling around a corner, stops about 2 inches from the Quail’s nose and hollers, Boo or Butt, or some other random word. I repeatedly am about to reprimand her when I hear the tiniest giggle come from the Quail. And so the sequence gets repeated. Those two seem to get something about each other that’s obviously only meant for them. They both love a silly joke and are equally delighted at the anticipation of it more than the quality of the material
14. About 4 months ago Zuzu started repeatedly announcing she wants another brother and sister for her birthday present. As unwilling as we were to oblige her at the moment I was secretly thrilled that she wanted it.
15. Zuzu doesn’t seem put out by all of the Quail’s therapies. She generally wants to use the time to watch a show or to join in cheering her on. It’s not uncommon to come in and find Zuzu initiating whatever the last activity she saw us working on with the Quail. We’re going to have to be extra watchful come stair-climbing practice.
16. Zuzu’s ability to interpret what the Quail is hollering about.
17. Her interest in signing and teaching her sister signs.
18. Since the Quail was born Zuzu has requested matching outfits. Zuzu has been an independent dresser since about 18 months. Meaning she needed to be the one to choose her outfit or you were in for a debate on the merits of polka-dotted dresses with pockets versus floral-printed skirts with pockets that held her garden rocks more easily. This then translated into her desire to be the one to pick out the Quail’s outfit. It isn’t every day but boy if there are some cute jammies in the Quail’s size, you best figure out a good rationalization as to how the orange in her jammies matches the red in Zuzu’s if you combine it with a yellow headband since red and yellow make orange. And trust me- I only wish I was making up that kind of example.
19. Zuzu’s empathetic aches and fevers that just happen to coincide with the Quails.
20. Zuzu’s insistence that she be picked up first at school so that she can come along to get the Quail. When we go into the Quail’s room she runs to gather up the Quail’s things and holler out a greeting that she’s here.
21. Their matching strawberry blonde locks, sparkling blue eyes, mischievious grins and strangley identical giggles.
See What I Saw Saturday
Happy Halloween!
Fave-O-Lit Friday
The Beatitudes of the Exceptional Child
by Andre Masse C.S.E.![]()
Blessed are you when by all these things you assure us that the thing that make us individuals is not in our peculiar muscles, not in our wounded nervous system, not in our difficulties in learning but in the God-given self which no infirmity can confine. Published in National Apostolate for Inclusion Ministry – Summer 1998
Quailday: The Toddler Diaries
I tend to wear my rose-colored glasses on the back of my head. In other words, I may be filled with worry and doubt looking forwards, I may be emotionally volatile or obsessive in the present, but I also tend to mostly remember the positives of what happened in the past and not dwell too very much on what happened way back when. I frequently and quite literally forget the bad or rough patches. Call me a romantic, an optimistic, delusional or great coper- either way it is what it is. And it never really causes too much trouble right?
Well, just to be clear that every day in her new class isn’t sunshine and roses I’ll share this from class:
9/21/10: “The Quail was great when we first got there and even crawled away from me when she saw a toy she wanted to play with. Another toddler going for the same toy accidentally stepped on her hand though. She was upset for a few minutes, but let me put her back down. After that she was fine and would play with me but was less interested in the other toddlers or moving away from me. I really think that once she gets walking she’ll be great over there. It’s just tough for her to be down on the ground with ten other energetic babies running/falling around her.”
That little incident is one of my biggest fears with her moving in with the Toddler room. But it wasn’t an injury- just more of an upset and really it’s happened rarely since she’s been in there. She also seems to recover more quickly from those types of upsets which is ultimately good for her.
9/27/10: “The Quail was in a great mood today but even more stubborn than usual. She was already in the toddler room when I got there today and she was doing great. Miss Ashleigh told me they’ve been trying to keep from picking her up so she crawls when she wants to go somewhere. She wouldn’t crawl to me though. She would start to crawl towards me then lay down like she was too tired to keep going then sit up and sign “please” and flap her arms up and down in frustration. I didn’t give in and eventually she gave up and tried to pull herself up to stand using the round tables.”
It was around this time at home that we noticed that she would follow us into another room or if she heard Zuzu or Lovey she would perk up and ditch me to go see what they were up too. It’s so hard to not give in and pick her up at home, so it’s good that there are others with a stronger constitution to help her work through it!
9/29/10: “When I first got to her school, the Quail was finishing up an art project so I hung out in there with her for about 10 minutes. She also tried to pull herself up using a chair, the tables, the refrigerator, my leg, and anything else she could grab.Once she came down off the block I couldn’t make her sit still if I wanted to. Today I pretty much just followed her around and tried to work different activities into what she wanted to do. I had her crawl over the foam block to get a pretend phone (she did this three different times). Then I answered the phone and told her “dad’s calling, say hi dada” and she reached for the phone and said “hi da” and then hugged it. So cute! Next, I got out her puzzle. She almost got the star in by herself, but got distracted by the mailbox of the house. I put a puzzle piece in the mailbox and she pulled it out. Then I told her “open the mailbox” and put the toy in the mailbox” She did both. Then she just wanted to “mail” me puzzle pieces so we took turns with that. After about 5 minutes of this she went back to playing with the puzzle and got the square puzzle piece in completely by herself.”
I probably said it before but I just love how Miss Mattie seems to “get” the Quail and lets her take the lead while looking for teachable moments to get the work in. The outcome is still the same- in this example learning how to get the puzzle together, but her way of getting around to it is so much more successful than when we or other therapists have “drilled” her on a particular activity.
And the grand finale for this week’s post and her busy Toddler Room days in September….
9/30/10: “The Quail pulled herself up to stand two times in a row today! We stayed in Ms.Patti’s because the toddlers weren’t doing anything specific. First I worked on the wheelbarrow position with her for puffs and she crawled over my leg and I held her up in wheelbarrow while she reached with one arm (always her right I think) for puffs. She was able to hold her self up for a good 15 seconds each time before she would rest. She did this four times. Then, I got out her toys and she wanted her Puppies book. I read it once and she signed “book” and “please” so I read it again and then again. She kept signing “book” and “please” so I put the puppies book in the red toy bucket. She crawled over to get it. She tried to lift herself up but didn’t quite get it so she sat down and I heard her say “doggie” and then she signed “book” and “please” again (Ms. Patti heard doggie too). I told her to go get it and that’s when she pulled herself up. She grabbed the book and plopped back down so I read it to her again. Then, she wanted something else in the bucket so she pulled herself up again!”
It was the Saturday morning after this that she pulled herself up to stand in her crib with the only assist being our wild crowd cheering of her efforts! We’re so proud of her.
Up next month is her saintly ongoing battle with the wheelbarrow position and the start of the Toddler Shuffle!
Ordinary Afters... 